Into the Night
by QT Roo
Summary: [Parts 1 to 7]Mac &Harm win a case,go out with a few friends and things get a little out of hand........
1. Into the Night: Beginnings

Written by M.A.G.~E-mail: Gypsyroo@aol.com/JAGgernaut@aol.com  
Disclaimer- I do not own JAG or is characters, but if I had it my way Harm would be all mine;) JAG belongs to Don P. Bellisario, Bellisarius, and CBS. I'm not getting paid for this...yada yada... The song "Into the Night" is performed by Benny Mardones  
Note:This is one of my first JAG fics and its taken a lot of courage for me to post it. Please review it and be kind. I started it when I only saw a handful of episodes in season 2 and worked on it as I saw more and learned new things. So, if there are discrepancies in details, they are my fault. Other things,(like what happened to Brumby) are a figment of my imagination to make my story a little more interesting.  
*****WARNING***This is a Harm/Mac shipper story**  
  


.^.^. Into the Night .^.^.  
(Dedicated to my #1 fans, Shanny and Chantelle)  


  
Mac's Residence  
Georgetown, MD  
21:24 Romeo, MAY 26  
  
Mac fixed her hair again. It just wasn't working tonight. She stared at herself in the mirror. Other than the hair, not bad, she thought. She wore a deep V- neck, spaghetti strapped burgundy camisole covered in tiny faux diamonds, black pants and basic black strappy sandals. It was nothing too fancy, but not too casual either. She looked chic and was comfortable, ok so maybe except for the heels. She had 5 minutes, 33 seconds before she had to be out the door. She could make it.  
  
Just then, her dog Jingo came over to her whimpering and then went to the door. "Now? Can't you wait? Why didn't you want to go before?" she sighed. "Fine, I'll take you to the front of the building." She went into the other room to get his leash. It wasn't there. "Shit!" she muttered. She searched all over and finally found that the dog had hid it under the bed. Maybe he thought he wouldn't have to wear it if she couldn't find it. Jeez, now she was playing doggie shrink! She went into the other room and fastened it onto his neck collar. The dog whimpered. "You sneaky boy." She pat his head. She found her keys after a little searching and locked the door. She and the dog went out into the front of the apartment building on the sidewalk. "You're going to make me late now, Jingo."  
  
She let the dog back in, grabbed a thin black jacket and took one last look in the mirror. She then headed out the door.  
  
********  
Mac's phone sprang to life, reciting it grating sound over and over until the machine finally picked up. Jingo's ears perked up.   
  
It was Harm. "Mac, you're running late so I figured you're still home. I just wanted to let you know that Renée insisted on coming. She promised to be nice."  
  
********  
Mc Murphy's Bar  
Washington, D.C.  
21:45 Romeo  
  
Mac parked her Vette and went inside. A group of men with tall empty mugs whistled and made comments about her, as she walked by them. She chose to ignore them. She spotted Harm, Bud and Harriet at the far end of the bar at a corner table. Bud Roberts and his wife Harriet Sims got up to dance.   
  
"You're late." he said, as she approached. He stood up.  
  
"Fifteen minutes, twenty two seconds."  
  
He smiled at her. "You're amazing." He never ceased to marvel at her extraordinary ability to calculate time.  
  
"Why thank you, Commander."   
  
He held the chair out for her, and put his hand on the small of her back. She sat down. A Latin beat started playing and Mac was itching to dance. Harm sensed this.   
  
"May I have this dance, Colonel?"  
  
"I'd love to."  
  
He took her hands and led her out to the dance floor. She felt so energized, like electricity was passing between their fingers. The music flowed inside them. The song was almost over, but she could have danced all night.  
  
An outraged Renée entered the bar and found Bud and Harriet at the table. She didn't make her hatred for Mac a secret."What's she doing here?" she hissed.   
Bud opened his mouth to speak, but Harriet ended up answering. "Uh, she and Harm won the case...together." Renée said nothing and stormed off.  
  
Great, Mac thought, Satan's sister is here, as she saw Renée approaching. She recalled the scene when they had attended the wedding of a fellow officer, and Harm had brought Renée. Harm, always a great catch, caught the bride's garter. The bouquet practically sailed right into Mac's lap, when Renée pushed her, causing her to fall, only to snatch it herself. Harm had gotten so angry as his she-devil of a girlfriend for pushing Mac. Renée had vehemently denied that she did it intentionally, deeming that it "was just an unfortunate accident." Finally she gave a feeble apology to Mac after Harm insisted upon it.  
  
"May I cut in?" Renée purred.  
  
"The songs almost over." Harm said. Mac looked at him uncomfortably.  
  
"That's ok."Anything to get the two of you apart, she thought.  
  
"Mac?"he asked. She nodded it was fine.  
  
He let go of Mac, and Renée literally wedged herself between them before Mac even had a chance to move. What was this, Renée thought, now he has to get permission from her to dance with me!  
  
Mac returned to the table to join Bud and Harriet.  
  
"Chased away, Colonel?" asked Harriet.  
  
Mac smiled. "Something like that." Just then the waiter came over. Mac ordered a cheese burger, an order of special deluxe fries and a coke. Harriet got a salad and Bud sheepishly ordered a salad at his wife's insistence. Two songs later, Harm and Her Sleaziness came back.  
  
"Iwwwwwww!" Renée exclaimed, as she saw Mac's grease fest of a burger and chili cheese fries. "Are you actually going to eat that?!"  
  
Mac popped a well embellished fry into her mouth for good measure. "Just did."She grinned, quite pleased with herself.  
  
"When I was pregnant I craved stuff like that." Harriet chimed in.  
  
"Mac, you aren't.....?" Renée asked, almost horrified.  
  
"Nooo." Mac laughed, shaking her head. What the hell made her think that she could call her Mac? Well, the girl probably couldn't handle anything beyond a syllable or two, she reasoned.  
  
"You gotta love Mac's eating habits." Harm said. Renée thought, What'so lovable about her anyway? She forced a smile. Harm continued, "She's got worse taste in men, though."  
  
"Shut up! I haven't seen you pick any gems either stickboy!" Mac retorted smiling, insulting Renée to her face. She was slow to catch on, and once she did, she became angry.  
  
"Until you, of course." Mac said. She was a gem alright, a faux gem! Bud and Harriet watched quietly in amusement, their heads turning back and forth to look at them,not wanting to miss a second of the action.  
  
I need a drink, Renée thought. This is going to be one long night. "I'm sorry about what happened, your fiancé being a bigamist and all." she said to Mac. Mac smiled through clenched teeth.  
  
"That walloby hopped off with an empty pouch and his tail, or lack there of between his legs." commented Harm with a grin. Mac shot a look at him and then smiled.  
  
"Do walloby's hop sir?" asked Bud, his question hanging in the air.  
  
"Drinks on me." Renèe said. How rare, the Witch was being hospitable for once. Mac craved a drink, a craving that came and went daily. "Bud? Harm?"  
  
"Beer." they both responded.  
  
"Harriet? Mac?"  
  
"I can't. I'm breast feeding." Harriet announced.  
  
Yes, please! "Um, no thanks." Mac said politely as possible.  
  
"Come on, nothing?"  
  
"I don't want anything."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Positive?"  
  
"Yesssssss!" Mac snapped, getting annoyed.  
  
"Renée, give it a rest! Leave her alone. She doesn't drink."  
  
"Ok, ok. You didn't have to yell!" Renée said, sounding hurt. Apparently you do have to be yelled at, because you're so dense you can't comprehend things any other way, Mac thought.  
  
Bud looked at Harriet. "Yikes," he said, softly.  
  
********  
  
Time flew by, and the tension had no way dissipated.   
  
"Time for pool." Harm announced. They all stood up, except for, of course, Renée. "Don't you want to play?"  
  
"No. I'll break a nail, honey."  
  
Mac laughed inwardly. She'd love to see Renée try to survive 5 minutes of Marine training. What the hell did he see in that pastry anyway? A pastry was what she was; flaky on the outside, fruity on the inside. "Let's go, fly boy." she called to Harm, who was still trying to persuade Renée to join them. He gave up on her and went to them.   
  
"How are we going to do this?" asked Bud.  
  
"The women against the men, of course." Harm said.  
  
"Me against you, Harriet against Bud." Mac said.  
  
********  
  
"Six in the corner."Mac held the cue steady, deep in concentration. She could make this shot. She and Harriet would no doubt win, their coordination not affected by alcohol like the men.  
  
"I know why you wore that." said Harm.  
  
"What?" Mac snapped, still eying the ball. She hit it and knocked it into the hole, which triggered other balls to go flying, delivering two into their respective holes.  
  
"You wore that to distract the competition."he said, his words slightly slurred.  
  
"Get off it, fly boy!" Mac leered at him. Just then, a burly man approached her.  
  
"S'cuse me, little lady. Would you like to dance?" he asked her in his gruff voice.  
  
"Not right now." she said, kindly as possible.  
  
"Looks like a real keeper." commented Harm wryly.  
  
"Shut up!" Mac said.  
  
Bud yawned, obviously he was tired. The alcohol didn't help. "I think I better get this big boy home after the game." said Harriet.  
  
"But Harriet!" he said. She looked at him and he shut up.  
  
********  
  
Renée fidgeted uncomfortably. Maybe I should have played, she thought. She hated this. She resisted the urge to go over there and bash Mac's skull in with a cue. She could have sworn that annoying little wife of Bud's was checking out her man, too!  
  
********  
  
The game was over, and the women had won easily as predicted. "Rematch next week!" Bud said, a little too loud. His wife took his arm.  
  
"Come on, Bud, honey." she said, leading her husband away. "Good night, Commander, Colonel."  
  
"G'night." Mac said. "Aren't you ready to go home yet, fly boy?"  
  
"Nope. Shall we dance, jarhead?"  
  
She couldn't help but smile. "Shouldn't you ask your girlfriend first?"   
  
"I guess that's a good idea."  
  
********  
  
"Wanna dance?" he asked Renée, who was relieved he was back.  
  
"No, the music sucks." she said.  
  
So eloquently put, Mac thought, as she heard Renée's comment as he approached. She took a sip of her soda. The ice had melted and it was all watered down. She crinkled her nose. Yuck!  
  
"Excuse me, while I go to the ladies room." Renée said, rudely pushing herself past Mac.  
  
"You, me: dance." he said to her with a grin.  
  
"Is that a promise or a threat, Commander?" A smile played on her lips. They went out to the dance floor and the next song started. One had to admit the place had a diverse taste in music.  
  
~*~  
  


_She's just sixteen years old/ Leave her alone, they say/ Separated by fools /Who don't know what love is yet/ But I want you to know - //  
_  


~*~  
  
The music swelled the room. Mac looked into Harm's eyes and then closed them.   
  
~*~  
  


_If I could fly/ I'd pick you up/ I'd take you into the night/ And show you a love/ Like you've never seen - ever seen//  
  
_

~*~  
  
They danced dangerously close and Mac inadvertently rested her head on Harm's shoulder. He didn't mind as he protested none, as they swayed to the music. He enjoyed having her in such close proximity.  
  
~*~  
  


_It's like having a dream/ Where nobody has a heart/ It's like having it all/ And watching it fall apart/ And I would wait till the end of time for you/ And do it again, it's true/ I can't measure my love/ There's nothing to compare it to/ But I want you to know -//  
_  


~*~  
The sweet scent of her perfume intoxicated him. He wanted to drown himself in her sweetness. Mac lifted her head, losing herself in the deep azure of his eyes, the heat palpable between them. Both were so flushed and never wanted to let go of each other. They secretly wished the song wouldn't end so they could continue their forbidden dance forever. Reality crashed those fantasies as the song was soon to come to a close. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. She gladly reciprocated. It was a fierce, hungry kiss, as if they were both depraved of a needed element. She pushed him away, suddenly.  
  
"I ..."he started He surprised her by taking one of her wrists in his hands.   
  
"It's okay..." she said. She realized that he wasn't in his right mind, his judgement clouded by the alcohol. She didn't even want to pore over the fact that he had a girlfriend and she was not too far away. Where was she anyway? Mac felt like she was spinning, but she and Harm were frozen in the middle of the dance floor. "Just forget about it. It never happened." It was best to treat it that way.  
  
~*~  
  


_If I could fly/ I'd pick you up/ I'd take you into the night/ And show you a love/ Like you've never seen - ever seen//_  


  
~*~  
********  
  
Renée exited the restroom. Her damn ring had fallen in the sink and gotten stuck in the drain. Fortunately, she was able to retrieve it after a lot of poking a prodding. She looked up in horror as she saw Mac and Harm practically alone on the dance floor. She couldn't trust Mac with her man for a second! She was almost positive it was Mac's idea to dance. The song was over and they parted, before she even got the chance to separate them. Her eyes stood transfixed on her nemesis like lasers.  
  
Just then, the big burly man they had encountered before approached Mac. "It's now my turn, sweet thing." he drawled. He put his huge calloused hand on her shoulder.   
  
"We were just about to leave." she said calmly. "Sorry."  
  
"Not without a dance." He grabbed her roughly and she delivered a deft kick to one of his knees. The man screamed and went after her, sending her skittering across the floor. Harm jumped on his back and the guy turned around and punched Harm in the head. He fell to the floor, vertigo set in. Everything spun around. Renée tried to help him up, but he brushed her away.  
  
Mac managed to get up, cursing the man who invented heels. The man had grabbed Mac again, taking her in a choke hold and Harm's fist found the man's jaw. A sickening crack ensued. The man screamed something along the lines of "You mother fucker!" Renée screamed. This scared her. As a TV producer, she was only used to TV and movie violence; fake violence.  
  
The man loosened his grip on Mac and she tried to wriggle free. The man was heavily muscled and she waited to make her move. Harm pulled her away from the big brute and went after him. Harm managed to knock the big man down. He quickly got up, pushing Harm into the pool table.   
  
Harm bounced back and punched the man in his head with his fist. The man turned to Mac, looking as if he were going to strike her."Didn't your mother ever teach you not to hit a girl?" she said. Mac then snuck up behind the fatso and kicked him behind his knees, sending him reeling onto the floor.   
  
After a few moments, he got up and groaned loudly like those half naked guys in warrior flicks and turned to Mac. Harm kicked him in the back and Mac saved the best place for last, kicking him swiftly in the balls. Tears formed in the man's eyes and he surrendered.   
  
"How does it feel to beaten by a girl?"she said to the whimpering man at her feet.  
  
"Not just any girl, a Marine." said Harm.  
  
"Watch it, I can kick your six any day." They walked away.  
  
********  
  
"Harm! Harm!" Renée yelled, but no one heard her.  
  
"Are you alright?" Harm asked Mac.  
  
"I'm fine. You're looking worse, flyboy." Mac gently took his hand in hers and examined it. "You're bleeding badly." She looked at his head, noting the small gash. Renée watched from afar, the sight of blood was nauseating to her. "Renée, ask the bartender for a towel and some ice."  
  
"I'll be fine, Mac." Harm said. "Let's get out of here."   
  
Mac turned to Renée, who reluctantly came over to them. She handed Harm the towel and ice. "We're leaving." Mac said.  
  
"Put it on my tab." said Harm, as they passed the bartender. They walked out to the parking lot.   
  
"Harm, I should really take you to the ER." Mac said, gravely concerned about the injuries he'd sustained. She had gotten hurt too, but it wouldn't be more than a bunch of bruises.  
  
"She's right." Renée chimed in. For once she had to agree with Mac. Renée was pale from the sight of blood.  
  
"I'm fine." he said. "I just need a good nurse." Renée opened her trap, about to speak.  
  
"Where's your car?" Mac interrupted.  
  
"I got a ride with Bud. It's in the shop. I was counting on you for a ride."  
  
"What am I, your taxi?"she asked playfully, and forced a smile, trying to hide her distress.  
  
"I could take him home." said Renée.  
  
"That's okay. I know you have to be up early for a flight tomorrow. Go home. Mac'll take me."  
  
His words stung. If he wasn't hurt already, she'd slap him. How dare he say that? He might as well said flat out he didn't want her to be there right now, and would rather have Mac go with him. 'Mac'll take me.' Take him where? To her apartment ?To his? To the ER? "If you insist." she said mordantly. She stormed off to her car.  
  
"Do you want to go home?"she asked, as they pulled out of the parking lot.  
  
"Yeah." he said.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to go the hospital?" she asked, as if he were five.  
  
"I'll be fine at home, as long as I have my nurse to help me."  
  
"Alright." She switched on the radio, the silence unbearable.  
  
********  
Harm's Residence  
North of Union Station  
Washington, D.C.  
23:49 Romeo, May 26  
  
She unlocked the door and they entered the apartment. She hit a switch and light flooded the room. She loved Harm's apartment because it was big and open, without walls closing you in every few feet.  
  
"Let me go get a clean towel and some more ice." She went into the kitchen. He went into his bedroom, wanting to change. With his one good hand, and great difficulty, he managed to take his pants off and slip on a pair of gray sweats and take his shirt off. Getting the new one on wasn't as easy. He gave up and threw it on the bed behind him His head throbbed.  
  
Mac entered the room. "I told you to sit still, flyboy."  
  
"Sorry." he said.  
  
"Come into the bathroom." Once there, she took his injured hand and turned on the cold water. "This is going to hurt." She put his fist under the feeble stream of cold water. She dabbed a towel on it to dry it and set the bloodstained towel aside.  
  
"It's not as bad as it looks."  
  
She took some antiseptic and applied it to the cuts on his knuckles.   
  
"What is that, battery acid?"he said, flinching.  
  
"Something like that." She smiled. She unrolled some gauze and wrapped it around the wound. She wrapped the zip lock bag filled with crushed ice in a small towel and gently put it on his hand. "Hold this." she said.  
  
The cut on his head had stopped bleeding and had already started to coagulate. She took a wet washcloth and gently cleaned the cut. "Not too bad." she said. She dried it and applied antiseptic.   
  
********  
  
She looked over him, at the finished product. He was adorned with gauze and tape on his head and hand. "Did you hurt yourself anywhere else?" she asked.   
  
"Just bumps and bruises. I'll live. Thanks"  
  
"You better. You're welcome."  
  
"Thanks to a good nurse, I will."  
  
"Now lets get you to bed."  
  
"My thoughts exactly." He looked at her. She met his eyes.  
  
She moved back the covers and he turned to her.  
  
"Aren't we going to talk about it?"  
  
"Talk about what?" she said cooly.  
  
"Playing dumb isn't you."  
  
"I thought we agreed to forget about because it didn't happen."she said uncomfortably, fixing a blanket; doing anything not to face him.   
  
"But it did." he said. She stood silent. "And what if I don't want to forget about it? What if I want it to happen again?"  
  
"Harm, you're being crazy."  
  
" If I'm crazy because I want to kiss you again, then I'm crazy."  
  
"Harm..." she said. "You're not thinking straight. You've been drinking." Did he even know it was her? Did he think she was Diane? Again? It certainly wouldn't be implausible. She remembered when she had gotten soaked and borrowed Harriet's uniform. She had come to understand that she and Diane beared an uncanny resemblance, and could be identical twins,so it was only natural for Harm to think it was Diane because of the Lieutenant's uniform. He'd kissed her, well Diane, so tenderly and Mac wished she was really Diane for a split second.  
  
"Mac," he said, taking her out of her reverie and at the same time disproving the Diane theory. He came closer, daringly close. Too close. He kissed her and she did nothing to stop it. He knew full well that she wanted the same thing he wanted. The only thing was that she didn't have the guts to actually admit it. He was so gentle. He tasted sweetly of her all too familiar former vice and enemy. A hunger swept over her, but it was surprisingly not for booze, but him. An alarm went off in her, every part of her being knew that this was wrong. Yet at the same time, somehow it was strangely right. She didn't care, this is what they had both wanted so badly for so long.  
  
He lay her on the bed and they were careful not to aggravate his wounds further. He tried to undress her, but had a hard time because of his hand. She helped him. She lay naked beneath him and it was relatively easy to slip off his sweat pants. They caressed each other and explored one another. He lowered himself onto her. She bit her lip in anticipation, waiting for him to enter her.  
  
********  
  
**(The continuation/sequel is entitled "Repercussions" )**  
  



	2. Into the Night: Repercussions

By: M.A.G. ~E-MAIL: GYPSYROO@AOL.COM.This is the sequel/continuation of "Into the Night." See part 1(Into the Night) for Disclaimer. It would really help to read Part 1 first. When I wrote this, I had never seen an episode with Chloe and someone told me she was about 10. After finally seeing Jaggle Bells, I learned she'd be 13 in the year 2000 so ignore that little discrepency. This part is a real see-saw and goes from happy to sad, happy to sad.  
  


Repercussions  
  


  
Harm's Residence  
North of Union Station  
Washington, D.C.  
5:09 Romeo, May 27  
  
Mac slept fitfully for what was left of the night until her internal clock woke her. Realizations set in, as she saw the outline of Harm's naked body under the sheet next to her. What had they done? She started to question everything. They had both been cognizant of what happened, hadn't they? Harm had been the only one drinking, but he wasn't that drunk was he? He didn't seem to be...She and her best friend, her attached best friend had just slept together. Rephrase that...they much more than sleep together. Was it wrong to feel this way? Still, I should have had more common sense, but I was too drunk with lust and stupidity, she thought. And love. She did love Harm, more than she had ever loved anyone. She felt guilty, like she had taken advantage of him because he had been drinking as she had been in her state of loneliness, vulnerability and unspoken love. Clarity always came to her too late.  
  
********  
  
Harm slept peacefully, the combination of alcohol, his injuries and lovemaking physically taxing. In his sleep, he reached for her and took her in his arms. She wanted to get up, get dressed, and go running. Running made her feel so free, as she was alone with nature. At least for a little while until the rest of the world woke and joined her in the park. She hesitated to move. She secretly admitted she enjoyed being in his arms. They were safe and secure and she was shielded from the world for just a little while longer.  
  
********  
"Hey." he said, catching her by surprise. She hadn't thought he was awake. He yawned. She tensed in his arms wishing she had slipped out before like she originally intended to. "You put me to sleep."  
  
"Great. Thanks." she said. Am I that bad ?, she wondered.  
  
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I meant that you tired me out. I haven't slept this good in years." She knew he'd suffered from bouts of insomnia for years. Great, I'm now a cure for insomnia. Fuck me and I'll make you pass out.  
  
"I'm glad." she said. Next thing he'd be saying was that she was a panacea.  
  
"Your being so quiet."he said. That wasn't the case last night. He kissed her jaw line and he caught her flinch. "Do you regret what we did?" he asked. "I don't regret it. Not one bit."  
  
"I just feel like we've messed everything up. You're my best friend, my partner. There are a million rules and regulations that go against this. I just feel like we've crossed the line, and it was too late by the time we realized we past it. And I don't even want to get started on Renée..."  
  
"We haven't messed anything up. We'll work it all out. As for Renée, I don't feel the same way about her as I do about you."  
  
Which was? she thought. "Cheating is cheating."  
  
"What else are you not saying?" he asked.  
  
"I think we need time to think about what happened and decide what we're going to do. We need to go on and act like this never happened, in the meantime. Act like we did before."  
  
She had a point in there somewhere, but still there was more she wasn't saying. He could understand what she said about acting like they had before because once people became lovers, they usually were so obvious. Neither wanted to jeopardize their jobs, but he knew there was a much deeper reason to what she'd said. Right now he wasn't quite sure what it was. He hoped it wasn't what he thought it was, that she regretted it.  
  
********  
  
Jag Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia  
14:22 Romeo, June 2  
  
Bud entered Harm's office. "Hi sir."he said leaving a file on his desk. "Permission to speak freely?"  
  
"What's up, Bud?" He put the file he was perusing down.  
  
"Ummm...Well, lately I've noticed the tension between you and Colonel MacKenzie. It's just that you've been fighting a lot lately."  
  
Harm smiled. "Bud, how is that any different than ususal?"  
  
"But not like this, sir. It's different this time."  
  
"Bud, you don't have to talk in circles around me. Just spit it out."  
  
"Alright. Does you and the Colonel not getting along have anything to do with what happened the other night, sir?"  
  
What did he know? Mac hadn't told him, had she? No, he decided. But what else did he know and how did he know it? "And what happened the other night?"  
  
"Um...Harriet and I left and were out in the parking lot when we realized that we left the keys on the table. So, we came back to get them and saw you and Colonel MacKenzie dancing, and well....kissing." Harm looked at him and said nothing. "I don't care how this affects your girlfriend or now ex girlfriend or whatever, but I do care about you and Colonel MacKenzie, sir. I hate seeing you both act like this."   
  
Acting like nothing happened wasn't as easy as either of them had thought and came out as hostility.  
  
"Be rest assured that Harriet and I haven't mentioned a word of this to anyone."  
  
"Thanks. You have to understand something though, Bud. It was a drunken mistake, Bud. Mac and I have already agreed that it didn't happen."  
  
"Let me ask you one thing. If it was a mistake that meant nothing to either of you, than why are you and the Colonel acting like guilty teenagers and avoiding each other whenever you can?"  
  
"I have to get back to work." was all Harm said. He ignored Bud's little tirade. He and Mac would be fine. It would go back to how it used to, it would just take some time.  
  
********  
Bud and Harriet's Residence  
Rosslyn, Virginia  
14:57 Romeo  
  
"So, how'd it go?" Harriet asked, as she rocked their new daughter, Sarah Rose. Her twin brother Harmon was already sound asleep in his bassinet. She'd gone home early to nurse her babies. Harriet scooped up their toddler son, AJ with her other free arm.  
  
"I think he really listened. I think some sense was finally knocked into him."  
  
"Do you want me to talk to Colonel MacKenzie?"  
  
"I don't think it's necessary."  
  
********  
  
Mac's Office  
Jag Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia  
14:22 Romeo, June 5  
  
"Hi." Harm said.  
  
She looked up from her file. He shut the door. "Hi." she said and smiled.  
  
"They know."  
  
"Who? Exactly what?"  
  
"Bud and Harriet saw us..." He thought of how to phrase it and simply said, "on the dance floor." Her jaw dropped.  
  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"I told him what you said about the whole thing." He didn't want to repeat the words again, words he did not believe in. "They've noticed we've been fighting a lot lately."  
  
"Harm, we always fight."  
  
"We fight 'differently' according to Bud. We act differently."  
  
"Well, then we have to stop."  
  
"Stop what?"  
  
"Acting weird." This was going well. What a lovely adult conversation, he thought wryly.  
  
"And how do you suggest we do that? Obviously we weren't able to do that before."  
  
She stood up."We're being civil now because you've stopped pressuring me to make a decision."  
  
"Oh ho, wait a second. Now I'm pressuring you?!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"I'd appreciate an answer soon because I'm stringing Renée along...." What she didn't know was that Harm hadn't dumped her only because he hadn't seen her in weeks.  
  
"I'm surprised she's still with you after what happened!" She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "Wait a minute. You didn't tell her did you, Harm? She doesn't know we slept together."  
  
"I thought we didn't."  
  
"Don't get into technicalities. I'm just saying...."  
  
"You say we have to forget about what happened, but as soon as I bring Renée into the conversation, now we've slept together again, Mac."  
  
"Isn't that what you wanted me to say all along? I have work to do." she said, sitting down once again, putting a temporary end to the juvenile banter.  
  
********  
  
Mac's Office  
Jag Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia  
10:02 Romeo, June 16  
  
Mac was glad the ensuing weeks after the 'incident' had gone smoother, as things were better between her and Harm. They seemed to be back to normal and she was glad he let it drop for now.  
  
She heard a rap at the door. "Come in." she said, without looking up.  
  
"Hello ma'am."It was Harriet.  
  
She motioned for her to sit. "I desperately needed a break." she said, setting down the file atop a mass of others. "How are you?"  
  
"Having three babies in the house is really a challenge, but Bud and I are doing alright. I brought you this." She handed Mac a manila folder. "How are you, ma'am?"  
  
"I'm fine, just little under the weather."  
  
"Bud and I saw what happened at the bar between you and the Commander and you both haven't been the same...."  
  
Mac's smile quickly faded. She didn't like the way this was going. Suddenly a wave of nausea swept over her.  
  
Harriet became concerned as the Colonel became a nice shade of green. "Are you alright, ma'am?!"  
  
"I've been sick to my stomach for two days straight."  
  
"That happened to me when I was preg—"  
  
"No, Harriet. It's not possible. I took Chloe and a couple of her friends to the movies the other day. I must have caught something from one of the kids.  
"Well, I should let you get back to your work. Feel better, ma'am."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
********  
  
Mac's Residence  
Georgetown, MD  
18:44 Romeo, June 24  
  
"Mac, look at that!" said Chloe, pointing to the huge gorilla sashaying across the TV screen. There was so response. She turned to find Mac passed out on the couch. The child sighed ruefully. She knew Mac was tired and her stomach was not feeling well, but she still was disappointed. She always looked forward to spending time with her. She admired Mac so much and wanted to be just like her when she grew up. She loved Mac, she was just like a big sister, almost like a mother.  
  
There was a knock at the door. Chloe got the stool and put it up against the door so she could see out of the peephole. It was Harm. She quickly unlocked and opened the door.  
  
"Chloe?!You should never let people in."  
  
"But I saw it was you. You're not a stranger."she said in her defense.  
  
"Fair enough. Where's Mac?"  
  
Chloe pointed to the living room where Harm saw Mac sprawled out and asleep on the couch. "She was feeling all pukey before. My teacher was like that when she was pregnant. I'd almost bet money on it that she's pregnant she hasn't seen anyone since her bust up with Mic the Dickhead half a year ago. I know all about that sex stuff." she said nonchalantly.  
  
"She said she probably caught something from you or one of your friends."  
  
"Nope. None of us have been sick."  
  
"So what are you doing?"  
  
"Waiting for Mac to rise so we can eat. I'm quite famished." Chloe melodramatically said, sweeping the back of her hand against her forehead, pretending to faint. Harm couldn't help but smile. She was good for Mac, and vice versa. It was truly a symbiotic relationship.  
  
"I'd take you to get something to eat, but Mac would worry when she woke up and you weren't here and I'd get in trouble. I'm sure she'll be up soon. How about I keep you entertained until she wakes up?"   
  
"Deal! I was so bored! Even Jingo is asleep!"  
  
********  
  
Chloe lead Harm to the guest room where she always stayed when she came for an overnight visit. Mac had obviously allowed her to personalize it, as a pastel bedspread with bears covered the twin bed. The walls were a pastel blue with matching stenciled bears along the ceiling. Toys and games littered the room. A Marine poster, looking tremendously out of place hung over the bed.  
  
Chloe invited him to sit at the white wicker desk, and she took the stool. They spent over an hour playing war, poker and various other card games. The kid sure knew how to play cards!  
  
********  
  
19:57 Romeo  
  
Mac gently stirred in her sleep. She heard voices but could not locate their owners. Her eyelids flew open. It hadn't been a dream after all. She realized the TV was on. She peered into the now dark living room. "Chloe?"she called, her tongue still thick from sleep.  
  
"We're in here!"Chloe called from the other room.  
  
Mac stood up and stretched. We? Oh, no! Not that paranormal-ghost phase again! She headed towards Chloe's room. "I told you Chlo, there are no gh—"She reached the doorway. "Harm! What are you doing here?"  
  
"Playing with Chloe. She's one mean, green card player. She could have robbed me of house and home. Thank god we were just playing for M&Ms."  
  
"Well, I learned from the best." Chloe said, grinning at Mac. Mac smiled.  
  
"I should go. Chloe wanted me to entertain her until you woke up."he said. Mac knew damn well that he didn't come over just to play with Chloe. Hell, he didn't even know she would be there tonight.   
  
"Chloe and I were going to get some dinner. Would you like to join us?"  
  
"Please, oh please, Harm!" cried Chloe.  
  
"Sure." he said smiling at the child's insistence. This was another step back on track. "How are you feeling? Chloe told me...."  
  
"I'm feeling better."  
  
********  
  
20:19 Romeo  
  
They ate Chinese food in Mac's living room. Chloe insisted upon going out and seeing a movie. Harm and Mac let her choose and she chose the re-showing of Top Gun. "But haven't you seen it a hundred times?" Mac said.  
  
"Forty-two to be exact. Plus, Tom Cruise is hot and all those times it was on an itty bitty screen! The planes are awesome too." Chloe said. Harm smiled.  
  
"Well, you have to hurry up," she said looking at the listings. "The next showing is in twenty minutes."  
  
********  
  
DC CINEMAPLEX  
CINEMA SIX  
20:34 Romeo  
  
Chloe pushed past Mac and Harm and sat down in the end seat, forcing Mac and Harm to sit next to eachother.  
  
"Chlo! That was rude."  
  
"Sorry."she said.  
  
"Chloe, are you sure you can see? There's a big tall guy in front of you. Let me trade seats with you."said Harm.  
  
"Nope, I can see fine." she said, grinning to herself. "Popcorn?"she asked coyly.  
  
********  
21:04 Romeo  
  
Mac and Harm had little contact, except for the occasional fingers brushing when they both reached for popcorn at the same time, and when their elbows collided when vying for the arm rest.  
  
"Aren't you going to do anything?" whispered Chloe loudly.  
  
"Huh?" asked Mac.  
  
"Do I have to spell it out for you? Aren't you going to make out with Harm?!"  
  
"Harm and I are just...." she paused, "friends, Chlo." She looked at Harm for confirmation. He looked away.  
  
********  
  
Mac's Residence  
Georgetown, MD  
22:16 Romeo, June 24  
  
Harm walked them in. Chloe let out a big yawn. "Time for bed, kiddo. You had all that candy. Don't forget your teeth." said Mac.  
  
"Yes, ma'am." she saluted Mac and scurried off to the bathroom to brush her teeth.  
  
"Coffee?" Mac asked, knowing full well more caffeine was the last thing either needed after consuming an extra large coke respectively.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
She went to the sink to fill the pot with water. Harm snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her slender waist. She gasped. "What are you doing?" He kissed her neck and said nothing. "Harm, stop." He complied and let her go.   
"You're too damn commitment phobic." he said, moving further and further away from her. "Night, Chloe!" he called loudly so she could hear him.  
  
"Night!"she called from the other room, as Harm let himself out.  
  
Why did I do that? she asked herself. She didn't know why she chased him away like that. She wished she hadn't.  
  
********  
  
Mac's Office  
Jag Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia  
11:09 Romeo, June 29  
  
Harm perused the dossier of their next defendant. He was waiting for Mac to get another file from Tiner.  
  
Mac's phone jumped to life. He snatched up the receiver. "Colonel Sarah MacKenzie's office." Harm recited, sounding like a secretary.  
  
A woman spoke at the other end, "This Marie with Dr. Gilbert's office. Is Ms. MacKenzie there?"  
  
"No, but I can take a message."  
  
"We were able to make an appointment for the ultrasound on the July 7th at 6 PM."  
  
"Ultrasound? This is for which doctor again?"  
  
"Dr. Gilbert, OB-GYN."  
  
"Thanks. I'll give her the message." He left the message by the phone where she was sure to notice it later. He was appalled that the secretary had given out information like that, as to the nature of the appointment to what could have been no more than a total stranger. But at the same time, he was glad. What the hell was she going to an OB-GYN for? An annual visit? Or was something wrong, or? What Chloe had joked about the other day popped into his head. Was Mac pregnant?  
  
********  
  
BULL PEN  
  
"How are you, Colonel?" asked Admiral Chegwidden. "You've seemed a little under the weather lately." Great, he's noticed, she thought.  
  
"I'm fine, sir."  
  
"How's the Mc Napherdy case going?"  
  
"Good sir. If you'll excuse me."  
  
"Of course."  
  
********  
  
Mac's Office  
  
"You okay, Harm? You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
"I'm fine."he said. He was fine, she was fine. They were all not damn fine!  
  
"What's wrong?" she tried again.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded.  
  
She gave him a confused smile. "Why didn't I tell you what?"  
  
"That..."   
  
Just then, Gunny appeared, silencing Harm and saving Mac for a little while longer.  
  
"I'm going to get some more coffee." said Harm. He left the office. Gunny sat down. Mac noticed a pink phone slip. Dr. Gilbert, July 7, 6 PM, and the time the receptionist called were printed in Harm's writing. Harm won't know what it's for, if the message is any indication, she told herself. She took a deep breath and set it down, before returning her attention towards Gunny.  
  
********  
  
Mac's Residence  
Georgetown, MD  
21:04 Romeo, July 7  
  
Mac laid on her couch in the dark. The only light came from a large candle on the mantle of her fireplace. What am I going to do, she asked herself. The pregnancy had been confirmed with some lines and dashes when she had taken the pregnancy test over a week ago. But none of it seemed real to her, not even the morning sickness, until the doctor did the ultrasound where she saw her baby and was confirmed she was seven or eight weeks along. She had always seen herself carrying Harm's child, but not like this, not under these circumstances. They were barely talking. Hell, they had made a deal to have a kid together if neither were in a relationship five years after Harm told her he was leaving JAG and going back to flying. It wasn't five years later, and one of them was in a relationship. And Mac was pregnant. The doctor had made a video for her and urged her to bring someone for support the next time. The baby was small and its features indistinguishable, but she already loved it.  
  
There was a knock at the door. Mac got up and looked through the peephole. It was Harm. She paused before letting him in. "Hi." she said. He entered the apartment.   
  
"Hi." he said. "Why is it so dark in here?"  
  
"I was laying down, thinking." She sat down on the couch and he sat next to her.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Stuff." she said modestly.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?"  
  
She nearly jumped out of her seat. She'd been hoping she had been covering her tracks and he had no intimation what was going on. "How did you know?"  
  
"It doesn't take a rocket scientist." It just took a kid to point it out.  
  
"Before you ask, yes, it is yours."  
  
"I had no doubt about that. Were you ever going to tell me?"  
  
"Of course," she said quietly, "when the time was right."  
  
"When? When the kid graduated highschool?"  
  
"I was going to tell you in a few days. I still need time to process this myself."  
  
"Both of you are alright? Your keeping it?"  
  
"We're fine. Of course. I could never...." Never again.  
  
"I'm glad." he said sincerely. He wanted to hold her, but she needed her space right now.  
  
"We'll be fine on our own."  
  
"What makes you think I'd abandon you both?"  
  
"Because everyone else has."  
  
"I'll never leave you. You can't go through this alone."  
  
"Don't let us ruin your life, Harm."  
  
"I want to take care of you and our baby. We were planning on having a child in a few years anyway. What's changed?"  
  
"It's only been a little over a year since our deal. You've barely had a chance to find someone to settle down with. You don't need to end your life just because I got knocked up. I'm just Joe's stupid, tramp daughter."  
  
"Jesus H. Christ Mac! I want you and only you! I want us to be a family. I refuse to believe what we shared was just some meaningless one night stand. I'm in love with you!"  
  
His admission made her heart skip a beat. "I love you, too, Harm." Before she realized what was happening, Harm was on the floor in front of her on one knee. He produced a sparkling ring of rubies surrounding a diamond. "Sarah Mackenzie, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"  
  
She tried to find the words as she stared into the depths of his azure eyes. Tears formed in her own eyes. "Harm, I love you, but I can't marry you. I just can't get married because you feel obligated because I'm carrying our child."  
  
"I want to marry you because I love you. I've loved you for years. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you forever to Brumby. Let this ring be my promise to show you my love, loyalty and friendship. No strings, marry me, don't. It's up to you. I want you to have it. It was my grandmother's. He showed her it's inscription: Sarah, My love always and forever. "See, it was meant for you."  
  
She nodded for him to go ahead. He slipped it on her right ring finger. He wiped her tears away and took her into his arms. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk." she whispered.  
  
"That's the past. We have more important things to worry about, like the present and the future." He softly put his hand over the slight curve in her belly. The touch wasn't meant to be sexual, but she couldn't help but respond to the jolt that surged through her. He kissed her. There was something very erotic about her carrying their child. He'd scooped her up and they traveled into her bedroom. He placed her on the bed. "This isn't going to hurt the baby?"  
  
"No." she said, returning hiss kiss.  
  
"I've been waiting for this for so long."he said.  
  
"Oh, so you were so confident that you'd win me over?" she said, taking his hand into hers, tracing imaginary loops and whorls with her index finger.  
  
"I won you over a long time ago." he said with a grin.  
  
********  
  
Washington Memorial Reflecting Pool  
Washington, D.C.  
13:04 Romeo, July 11th  
  
It was humid and the Japanese cherry blossoms were in full bloom. The monument towered over him, and the sun hid behind the clouds ominously. Harm had called Renée when she returned from her trip and asked her to meet him by the reflecting pool. There was no mention for lunch. He didn't want to give any false pretenses. She had suspected nothing and happily agreed, saying she'd missed him. He'd explained to Mac that she was away and breaking up with her over the phone wasn't right. That is why he waited until now.  
  
The tall blonde approached, clad head to toe in a ghastly snake pattern in a pink that was like that of the cheery blossoms, with an equally appalling matching purse. "Hi, honey." she cooed, and bent over him to plant a kiss on his cheek. "I missed you." She aimed for his mouth but he backed away.  
  
"What's wrong?" she demanded. "You're dumping me, aren't you?"  
  
"This just isn't working."  
  
"I can't believe it. You are dumping me." she said incredulously.  
  
"I was hoping it would be a mutual decision. I can't be the onlyone to see it wasn't working."  
  
"Is there someone else?" she asked, although deep down, she already knew the answer. Someone already had his heart way before she'd met him. Mac.   
  
"Mac?" He said nothing, just once more confirming what she was already privy to.  
  
"How could you do this to me?" she fumed. "We had something good."  
  
"It's better this way. It's better than pretending something is there when it's not."  
  
"You bastard!" she screamed and stormed off. Well, that went well, thought Harm wryly.  
  
********  
  
Harm's Residence  
North of Union Station  
Washington, D.C.  
18:22 Romeo, July 11  
  
Harm had went to the store, as he lacked a few of essential ingredients for shrimp and vegetable risotto. He'd insisted on cooking for Mac and ordered her to eat healthy now that she was eating for two. He'd told her to sit and rest and leave everything up to him but she figured there was no harm in setting the table. She removed two blue-tinted snifters from the cupboard. She set one down at Harm's place setting. There was a knock at the door.  
  
Mac went to answer it. Renée stood before her and both hadn't been expecting the other to be there. That was apparent.  
  
"I came to get something I left here." she snapped at Mac.  
  
Mac let her in. She got a book out of the living room and went back to the door. Mac opened it. "I'm sorry."she said.  
  
"I bet you are." she said and shoved past with such brute force that Mac was knocked down. The snifter shattered on impact. Mac's left hand landed on some of the small shards. "Shit!" she muttered and got up, making sure she was out of the glass' path.  
  
She went to the kitchen and examined her hand. None of the glass shards appeared to be embedded as they all came off easily. She ran her hand under the water and held a towel to it. The lacerations were shallow. She went in the bathroom to cleanse her wounds and apply gauze.  
  
Harm came home a few minutes later and noted the broken glass by the door. "Mac?" he called worried. She appeared before him. "I'm sorry about the glass. It was an accident. I was just going to clean it up."  
  
"I don't care about the glass, I care about you. Are you alright? Did you cut yourself?"  
  
She held up her left hand. "It's not bad." The gauze was snow white and that was a good sign. If the injury was severe, it would still be bleeding and the gauze would be saturated with blood. He hugged her and kissed her. "I'm fine, Harm. I'm not some porcelain doll that will break. Now get cooking flyboy, we're starved."she said with a smile. They went into the kitchen.  
  
********  
  
The Courtroom  
Jag Headquarters  
Falls church, Virginia  
15:08 Romeo, July 12  
  
Mac paced confidently as she delivered her closing. "The defendant, Master-chief John Morrison was fully cognizant that he was putting Sergeant-Major Hartford's life in jeopardy. He did this intentionally to get back at him for an affair," A sudden, sharp pain surged through her abdomen, "the Sergeant-Major had been having with Master-chief Morrison's wife." She grabbed her stomach and doubled over as the pain intensified before finally crashing to the floor. Harm was the first one to race to her side.  
  
"Motion for mistrial!" cried the defense attorney Lieutenant Mc Murphy.  
  
"Forget that now!" cried Admiral Horn, the presiding judge. "Someone call an ambulence!" Bud did so on his cell phone.  
  
Harm cradled her in his arms. Tears streamed down her face. "I don't know what's wrong." she said, even though she knew what was happening to her. She'd lost so much, too much. Harm issued words to calm her to no avail. "Please don't let them take our baby."she whispered almost inaudibly. Harm was the only one to hear her plea.  
  
"Sir, there's a shortage of ambulances and paramedics because of an eleven car pile up!"  
  
"I'm taking her myself then. You drive." He tossed Bud the keys to his SUV and carefully lifted her into his arms and they raced down the stairs.  
  
********  
  
Mac's Hospital Room  
Bethesda Navel Hospital  
Bethesda, Maryland  
22:44 Romeo, July 12  
  
Mac awoke hours later, her body feeling like lead. She felt a hand wrapped around hers. She opened her eyes half way to see Harm sitting in the near dark. She opened her eyes wider. "Harm? Don't let them take my baby again." she murmured.   
  
"Shhh....It's alright. Rest."  
  
Louder. "I want our baby. Please, don't let them take the baby again. Harm, you can't let them." She was crying now. He wrapped her arms around her and let her cry. "Not again."  
  
Again. The first time he heard her, he thought he'd heard wrong. He knew the doctor had given her a sedative and she had probably not fully recovered from its effects and didn't know what she was saying. But somehow, he knew that what she saying wasn't out of her drug induced state. Sometime, a long time ago, she had lost another child.  
  
What she wanted to know, needed to know, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. He couldn't, especially now after what he just learned; not when he couldn't accept the loss of their child himself yet.  
  
"Rest." he said, to a distraught Mac, who started to drift off to sleep.  
  
********  
  
09:34 Romeo, July 13  
  
Mac woke. She had a terrible nightmare. She dreamt that their child was gone. She opened her eyes and focused on unfamiliar territory. She realized she was in the hospital. The last thing she remembered was being in pain and Harm taking her to the hospital.   
  
Harm returned to her room with a styro-foam cup filled with coffee to revive him after the all-night-vigil. Her head was turned toward the window. She turned to look at him. He sat down beside, resting the coffee on the bedside table. He gripped her good hand. "Welcome back, sleepyhead." he said, hiding the pain from his voice.  
  
"The baby's gone isn't it?"She sat up.  
  
"Yes." he said, nodding sadly. She wept for a long time after that. He felt so helpless and just held her.  
  
********  
  
"It's not fair." she said. "Why? What happened? What caused it?"  
  
"There was some trauma and you were badly bleeding. A baby that underdeveloped can't survive outside the womb."he said, reciting the doctor's words. "They had to take the baby, Mac. You would have died if they didn't. I couldn't lose you both."  
  
"Trauma, what kind of trauma?" she asked, as if she hadn't her most of what he'd said.  
  
"Anything. Strenuous exercise, taking a fall, but sometime it happens for no apparent reason."  
  
"It's not my fault this time, Harm."she said, "Its not, right?" The tough-as-nails Marine was now emotionally fragile as glass. Her Teflon exterior had been pierced, exposing her, making her vulnerable. He had to be the strong one.  
  
"No, it's not, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong." He held her tighter.  
  
"She did it. It's her fault."  
  
"What? Who? Who did what?"  
  
"Renée...She pushed me, I fell."  
  
"When was this?"  
  
"When you went to the store the other day."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I didn't want to upset you. I was fine, except for my hand." She looked at it. The nurses had cleaned it and applied new dressing. "Or so I thought. I felt fine. I never knew I'd lose another baby."  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
She nodded. "I wanted to tell you. I just harbored the memories and my feelings for so long. I locked them up and I thought I'd never have to face them again. When Eddie and I were in the accident, I just didn't lose him." She paused.  
  
"Are you sure you want to continue? You don't have to."  
  
"I need to." she told him, regaining her composure. "I lost our baby. They called it a miscarriage, but it was as good as murder. It's my fault. I was driving. I guess it's better it happened. A teenage alcoholic isn't the best parental material."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Mac." he said.  
  
"Does everyone know?"  
  
"Only the Admiral, Bud and Harriet know. They're here and want to see you if your up to it."  
  
She shook her head. "No, I can't."  
  
"That's alright. We'll get through this together."He felt numb. They clung to each other for dear life as if they were dangling dangerously close to the precipice and doomed to plummet to their death. One of them was already headed there.  
  
********  
  
A while later, Mac was fit to be discharged. A nurse gave him some business cards with the contact information for counselors who dealt with this sort of thing all the time and urged him and his "wife" to go.  
  
*********  
(Part 3/conclusion entitled Anaesthesia)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Into the Night: Anaesthesia

By M.A.G~ E-Mail:Gypsyroo@aol.com  
Part 3- The highly requested continuation of "Repercussions"  
For Disclaimer, see Part 1:Into the Night  
Spoilers: Reference to The Stalker  
  
  


Anaesthesia  
(Dedicated to Chantelle, one of many in my cheering section. Thank you for your encouragement and friendship.)  
  


  
Admiral Chegwidden's Office  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia  
09:17 Romeo, July 14  
  
The Admiral leaned back in his chair and hit the button for the intercom. "Tiner!"  
  
"Yes, sir?"  
  
"I could have sworn I saw Colonel MacKenzie this morning. Tell me I'm hallucinating."  
  
"You are not, sir. The Colonel is in her office."  
  
"Get Rabb and MacKenzie in here now."  
  
"Right away, sir."  
  
********  
  
Mac headed to the Admiral's office. Tiner greeted her. "How are you this morning ma'am?" he asked, not sure what else to say.  
  
"I've seen better days."  
  
"You can go right in."  
  
"Thank you, Tiner."  
  
********  
  
Mac entered the office and stood attention. "At ease. What are you doing here, Mac?" he said softly.  
  
"I'm fine, sir." Her eyes were swollen and red from crying and she thought she did a pretty good job with her makeup. She'd hidden her and her mother's black eyes and bruises with great skill. Makeup can cover a multitude of sins.  
  
"The hell you are. Go home, Mac. You need time."  
  
"I'd rather stay."  
  
"That's an order."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"Now, where's Commander Rabb?" asked the Admiral. Suddenly, Harm appeared as if he came out of the air.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir. I was..."  
  
"I don't need to hear it. Take Mac home and stay with her."  
  
"Of course. I tried to get her to stay home, sir."  
  
"Stop talking about me as if I'm not here!" she said, on the verge of tears. "I can get myself home. There's no need for Harm to play chauffeur and I really rather be alone. So if you'll excuse me..." She left the office.  
  
"How are you handling this?"  
  
"I'm fine, sir."  
  
"You're fine, Mac's fine. Well neither of you look damn fine to me. It was your baby too, was it not?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"You're allowed to hurt and cry, Harm. I know you loved that baby since the moment you became aware of its existence. So please don't try to convince me you're fine."  
  
"I'm in pain, I just don't show it. I have to be the strong one, Admiral."  
  
"Call me, A.J. You can be strong and still mourn at the same time. Newsflash: You're only human. Mourning doesn't make you a weak person. Have you both considered talking to someone? A counselor that deals with this sort of thing?"  
  
"I'm going to. I don't think Mac is so willing, though.  
  
********  
  
Mc Murphy's Bar and Restaurant  
Washington, DC  
11:32 Romeo  
  
Mac wore a red tank top and indigo jeans. She sat down at the bar.  
  
"The usual?" asked the bartender.  
  
"Yeah, except for the lemon and water. Give me a vodka on the rocks."  
  
"You sure about that, honey?"  
  
"What are you, the AA Police?" she snapped.  
  
"Coming right up."  
  
He placed the drink in front of her, its familiar wicked scent assaulting her nostrils. It didn't take too much alcohol to get her drunk. The last time she had fallen off the wagon was over three years ago. She hadn't touched a drop, until now. The bartender took her keys and called a cab. He walked her outside making sure she got in it. Only then when she was in the cab he knew she was a danger to no one but herself, he gave her keys back  
  
********  
  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown, MD  
13:02 Romeo  
  
Mac stumbled inside of her apartment. She drew all of the drapes closed, reveling in the dark silence. She felt very nauseous. Her head hurt, her eyes hurt. She had been without alcohol for so long, her body was on over load and couldn't handle it. She threw up many times before passing out on her couch. Alcohol. Anaesthesia. For a little while, she could be numb and not feel. For a little while she could forget and escape  
  
********  
  
18:01  
  
Harm called her several times to check up on her, but she never answered. He left messages on her voice mail she didn't check. He figured she had shut the ringer off and slept. He needed to talk to her, he didn't want to bother her anymore tonight.  
  
********  
  
Mac continued to alienate herself from everyone. Harm had come by twice and she had chased him away. Both times she hadn't started drinking for the day yet. The only time she ever went out was to a bar when she was lonely, or to the liquor store when she felt like drinking alone.  
  
She averted everyone calls and let voice mail and her answering machine pick up. She only answered some to keep up her charade. She and Harm played phone tag, talking to each other's voice mail.  
  
Renée could not be charged with murder, it was early in the pregnancy and the baby wasn't even considered a human being yet. Mac opted not to press assault charges against Renée. Renée wasn't even aware of Mac's pregnancy. She didn't intentionally try to kill the baby. Besides, the doctors couldn't rule out other possible causes for the miscarriage. Renée may have not been to blame at all. Even if she was at fault, nothing could bring their baby back.  
  
********  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia  
16:33 Romeo, July 20  
  
Harm didn't know what to do. He didn't know why she was trying to drive him away. He knew she was hurting still, but she had made it clear he was the last person she wanted to be comforted by. He was determined. He wouldn't let her go this easy, he loved her more than anything else. It pained him to remember her reaction when the nurse who wheeled her out said that they could try again as soon as they were ready. Mac had been appalled at the suggestion that their baby could be so easily replaced.   
  
He was tired of giving her space. She was unusually aloof. Something was definitely amiss and it was more than grieving over the loss of their baby. She insisted she just needed a little more time, every time he had spoken to her. She sounded more and more depressed. He refused to allow her to sink further and further into her own little world.  
  
********  
Mac's Residence  
Georgetown, MD  
17:03 Romeo  
  
Harm knocked on the door. "Mac, I know you're home. Your car's here, that's what you get when your trying to hide out and you have a cherry red Vette. You can't miss it. C'mon, Mac. We need to talk. I miss you."  
  
She unhooked the chain. He opened the door. The apartment was partially dark, but there was enough light for him to see that she looked like hell.   
  
"Please, go away." she said, her voice full of pain. She was on the verge of crying.  
  
"I've left you alone long enough. Too long. I'm not leaving."  
  
"Please, Harm...." She pleaded.  
  
"I'm not leaving you like this."  
  
He spotted a bottle on her coffee table. He stepped closer. She reeked of alcohol. "Oh, God!" he said, "You were doing so good." Didn't she realize alcohol was to blame in the death of her first baby? Or did she choose to ignore that fact and wallow in her own self pity instead? He caught her in the process of her own self destruction. He knew it scared and humiliated her for him to see her like that.   
  
In lieu of yelling at her, he held her. She cried in his arms. "Why didn't you come to me?"he asked softly.  
  
  
"I'm sorry." she said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
"The one you're hurting the most is yourself."  
  
"I'm just so alone." she sobbed.  
  
"You'll always have me. We'll help each other."  
  
"I don't deserve you." she said, pulling away.  
  
"Your talking crazy, Mac. Now go get dressed Beltway burgers on me."  
  
********  
A.A. Meeting Hall  
Georgetown, MD  
16:27 Romeo, July 31  
  
Mac gripped Harm's hand tightly. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"he asked.  
  
"I need to do this by myself. I need to make sure I'm not coming here because the people I care about think I should. I need to know that I'm doing it for myself. I love you, Harm. No one has gone as far as you have for me." She looked toward the double doors and turned back toward him. "I should go, it's about to start." He smiled at her.  
  
********  
  
They had been through so much together for the past five years, but he knew they were going to make it. They had gone to see a grief counselor together on Saturday and he felt it had helped them both. Mac seemed better everyday, while his own pain dulled. Their emotional wounds would never fully heal, but they started to learn how to cope.  
  
********  
Harm's Residence  
North of Union Station  
05:23 Romeo, October 21  
  
"What's the verdict?" Harm asked, peeking over Mac's shoulder. She swatted him with the newspaper. He nibbled on her ear.  
  
She smiled. "Pending."  
  
"How much longer before the jury comes back?"  
  
"Three minutes and counting." She was happy and grinning. He hoped the expression would stay there. He couldn't bear to see the look of disappointment on her face like she had in August and September when they learned she wasn't with child. He couldn't bear to see that look on his own face again.  
  
********  
  
05:26 Romeo  
  
The kitchen timer buzzed. It was time. Harm and Mac looked at each other and ventured into the bathroom to discover the awaiting results. They knew what color meant "Yes." and what color meant "Sorry, try again next time," having seen the latter twice before.  
  
How does the jury find? She lifted the stick up from the bag she had hidden it behind and held it up for both of them to see, revealing it's true colors.  
  
********  
  
(No, I didn't "forget" to give the "verdict," you'll just have to wait. I felt this particular part of the story was woven pretty weak, so I wanted to keep you on your toes for Part 4. Everything will be cleared up in a story entitled "Family." **PLEASE WRITE A REVIEW:o) THANKS:o)**  
  
  
  
  



	4. Into the Night: Deception (flashback)

By M.A.G~ E-mail: Gypsyroo@aol.com  
Disclaimer:JAG isn't mine..waaaaa.It belongs to Don P.Bellisario,Bellisarius,CBS, et al.  
Spoilers: Second Sight and maybe some slight references to other episodes  
VIGNETTE: Takes place right after Second Sight-(If I remember correctly, Mac hadn't seen her mother in 17 yrs and she left when Mac was 15, so I estimate Mac to have been about 32 or 33 when her father died. I don't have the episode handy to check, but either way, to make my story work time-wise, she had to be 32-33.) The Cemetery name is a figment of my imagination and as far as I know, only exists in my mind.  
***********  


Deception  
("What a tangled web we weave......" To April, and all others' deceived)  


  
  
  
********  
Weeping Willow Cemetery  
San Francisco, California  
09:07 Uniform, April 5  
  
  
It was a chilly April morning as they stood amongst endless graves. Morning dew settled on emerald blades of grass, frozen and white. It was appropriate for the day where Joe MacKenzie would literally begin to rot in hell, well, six feet under. He was a Marine, but he'd lost his entitlement for a full military funeral when he was dishonorably discharged.   
  
You could count the numbers of mourners on your hand, and one was the priest who was obligated to be there. Mac stood by Harm, who had his arm protectively around her. She had told him not to come, but he insisted. She was glad he hadn't listened to her now.  
  
Mac's mother stood on the opposite side of the casket with a young girl. Mac wondered who she was, but at the same time didn't care. Mac hadn't spoken to her mother since they day her father died when she learned who and what her mother truly was. She wasn't much better than her father. At least her father had loved her and tried to give her a good life. Her mother abandoned things so easily; her daughter, their dog. . . .She didn't care. Margaret MacKenzie was an overtly obese and selfish woman, who cared about no one but herself. Mac had forgiven her father before he died. He hadn't been conscious, but somehow, he knew. The priest had finished his duties and the casket was lowered into the grave.  
  
Mac paused for a moment, before turning around. She and Harm walked further among the perpetual trees and dead that lied beneath their feet. She stopped in front of a large monument and burst into tears. Harm took her into his arms. "I don't know why I'm crying." she said,  
  
"It's simple. Because he was your father."  
  
********  
  
Mac's mother and the girl approached. "I'd like to talk to you alone." said Margaret MacKenzie.   
  
"Whatever you have to say to me, can be said in front of Harm." He already knew what a screwed up life she'd had.  
  
"Alright. When I left on your 15th birthday, I didn't leave alone. I was pregnant. Your father didn't know. Sarah, this is Adrian, your biological sister."  
  
Mac was taken aback and stared at the girl as if she were an alien. Sister? Biological sister? This was too much to take. "I'm surprised you didn't abandon her on her 15th birthday!" Mac screamed, and stormed off. Harm went after her.  
  
********  
Rock Creek Park  
Washington, D.C.  
13:54 Romeo, April 19  
  
A few weeks later, Mac and Adrian made plans to meet and get to know each other. They sat on the swing set, as if making up for lost time. Mac apologized for acting childish, that she was overwrought with emotions at the time. They discussed growing up. Life hadn't been a picnic for either of them. Their mother had often times left her alone for days or weeks when she couldn't find a neighbor to dump her on. There were a slew of men who made their way into Adrian and Margaret's life. There had been sexual abuse.  
  
Mac held her newfound sister while she cried and recounted her life. Her sister was little more than a child who had lived through so much, hell, they both had. Both were forced to grow up early. They had been born innocent and deceive from the get go. They knew nothing of each other and were hugged when convenient and thrown away when they weren't. Adrian knew very little of their father. Mac knew more than she wanted to know.   
  
********  
_(To read more about Adrian, read Entwined, Part 5 of the Into the Night series. PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK!!! Pretty pretty please with Harm on top?!!)  
_  
  
  
  



	5. Into the Night: Family

Written by M.A.G~ E-mail: Gypsyroo@aol.com (This is I guess what you would call Part 4. It's the Continuation of Anaesthesia in a way, as it clears up the question posed. Part 5, Entwined delves further into that. This story has references from a story entitled Deception. It might be a good idea to read it before you read this story so your not wondering "Just who is Adrian?")  
Disclaimer: See Part 1: Into the Night. Oh yeah, June, Lily Rose and Adrian are my own creation and belong to me.  
Inspired by Season 1's episode Déjà Vu.  
Spoilers: To Russia With Love  
*Note: This was based on Harm running off to Vietnam when he was I think 16 to look for his father....I should have cleared that up before.  
  


~Family~  
  
(Dedicated to my sister Shanny)  


  
**Harm's Office  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia  
15:56 Romeo, November 9  
  
Harm looked up from his file once more. He got another look at the girl that passed the outside of his office. She ignited a flare in his memory. She had long raven hair and oval eyes and was clearly of Vietnamese descent. The woman stood in the open door way.  
  
Harm eyes widened in recognition. June. No, it couldn't be. June was dead. Even if she wasn't, she would be around the same age as himself. He heard of people aging gracefully, but this girl was clearly just out of her teens or in her early twenties. Hell, this wasn't the first time he had mistaken someone for that of a ghost from the past. Mac was no more Diane than June was this girl.  
  
She spoke. "Knock, knock. Are you going to invite me in, or would you rather I continue standing here so you can look at me as if I'm some science experiment?" She smiled. She spoke English well, with no trace of an accent. She had either been raised in the U.S., or she had grown up abroad but was well educated.  
  
"Sorry, you just look like someone I used to know." He motioned for her to enter and sit down. "Can I help you, Miss....?"  
  
"Just call me Lily Rose."  
  
"Alright, Lily Rose."  
  
"I'll be terse. Harmon Rabb, Jr., you are my father." Surprise and shock became etched on his face. Of all things, that wasn't what he expected her to say. He didn't know what to say. It certainly was possible. He and June had been little more than children themselves in war torn Vietnam, but they were certainly old enough to conceive a child. "Looks like we have a lot of catching up to do, father." she said.  
  
  
********  
  
Lily Rose confirmed Harm's thoughts. June was her mother. She had found out she was pregnant after Harm had left. After giving birth, June gave Lily Rose was to her mother, Lily Rose's grandmother. Then June had committed suicide, forcing the soldiers to shoot and kill her.  
  
"I blamed you and my mother for my rotten life for so long. My grandmother originally told me that my mother had been murdered by Americans. She convinced me that you abandoned me, not wanting to deal with your bastard child. A year ago, the truth finally came out when she was on her death bed. That is when she told me who you were. She didn't want to die with her lies. She told me she did it for my sake, to protect me. After she died, I began to search for you. It was relatively easy to accomplish. It took the longest to gain the courage to come here. I had done so well in school at home, that I was granted a scholarship to take part in an exchange program at Georgetown Law last year."  
  
"I'm sorry,"he said sincerely, "I never knew of your existence, until now."  
  
"I know you'll want a DNA test done to be sure. I know you'll want it done as soon as possible. That's fine with me. Let me know when it's convenient for you. I should be going. I know you have work to do."  
  
"That's a good idea." He wrenched his hands. "I'll check my schedule later. Where can I get in touch with you?"  
  
"I'm staying at the Holiday Inn, Room 318, on the corner of Constitution and...."  
  
He smiled, a million emotions surging through him. "I know where it is."  
  
********  
  
Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station  
Washington, D.C.  
17:42 Romeo  
  
Jazz flooded the apartment, pouring out of strategically placed speakers. Harm sat on the couch poring over case files, unable to give them his full unadulterated attention. He was anxiously awaiting for Mac to come home. She had left work early for a doctor's appointment.  
  
He heard her key enter the lock. He got up to greet her. He planted a kiss on her cheek and took her coat. "How did the appointment go? What did the doctor say?"  
  
"Well, there's nothing wrong with my plumbing. He suggested that we test for your sperm count, in case your guys are not the virile men they used to be." she said with a smile. "He said we also could not be conceiving because of too much stress. He said to let nature take its course and not concentrate so hard, and we should be pregnant within six months."  
  
Harm wrapped his hands around Mac's slender waist. She gave him his best flyboy grin. "But concentrating is fun."  
  
********  
18:52 Romeo  
  
  
"I'm thinking we should have pizza tonight." she said.  
  
"That'll be great. I have to talk to you about something."  
  
"We have to get pepperoni on at least half. It's non negotiable, sailor."  
  
"I'd never even try to talk you out of that, jarhead. I learned something today."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sit down."he said and she did so. "I have a daughter." Her jaw fell to the floor.  
  
********  
  
19:22 Romeo  
  
Harm explained about June and how Lily Rose had come to his office, and he told Mac what Lily Rose had told him.  
  
"Jeez Harm, for all you know she's playing you for a fool. She could be deceiving you about everything. You have no proof that she is really your daughter."  
  
"She looks just like June."  
  
"And I look like Diane. That doesn't mean she's my twin sister."  
  
"I have a feeling she's telling the truth. Why do find it so hard to believe that I have a daughter?"  
  
"Because you obviously believe it and want it to be true so badly. I can see it in your eyes. After some 19 odd years she suddenly decides to go find Daddy dearest?!"  
  
"She didn't know who I was until a year ago. She thought I abandoned her. I told you her grandmother lied to her."  
  
"A year? All too convenient. She's been in D.C. all this time? What took her so long to track you down?" She crossed her arms across her chest. "A year is plenty of time to research and concoct a story to play you for a sucker."  
  
"She didn't have the courage to come see me. She enrolled at Georgetown because she wants to become a lawyer."  
  
"Well, from what you told me, she sure wasn't nervous when she make her entrance. She made jokes."  
  
"People react to different situations in different ways. You of all people should know that. She's also probably busy with law school."  
  
"Now you're making excuses. I'd hate to break this to you, but her wanting to be a lawyer doesn't mean you are genetically related, if anything, it's a genetic flaw." she said with a smile. She almost laughed.  
  
"I know that. I was just stating."  
  
"I wonder how willing she would be once you mention a DNA test. See how fast she changes the subject or runs."  
  
"She actually brought it up. She wants to prove herself, and wants it done as quickly as possible.  
  
"Just make sure you're willing to except whatever may be the outcome. You have to open yourself to the possible disappointment that may lay ahead."  
  
"I know, Mac."  
  
"I'm starving, Harm. It's time for pizza." They had more disappointment these past few months than most could take. She hoped to God that she was wrong about Lily Rose.  
  
********  
  
Commander Angelique Avari's Office  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
Bethesda, Maryland  
18:36 Romeo, December 20  
  
The DNA result were in. They all waited anxiously in the hall. Mac and Lily Rose had not met prior to this occasion.  
  
"Lily Rose, this is..." What? Who? Girlfriend sounded juvenile and trivialized what they had, and lover or best friend couldn't do justice for what they meant to one another. Woman was possessive and chauvinistic and he'd be kicked if he addressed her that way. She was an excellent kickboxer. They weren't quite engaged yet so fiancée wouldn't work either. "This is my, Sarah." The girl and Mac quickly embraced. Mac instantly liked Lily Rose.  
  
Harm, Mac and Lily Rose sat in front of the doctor's desk. Dr. Avari sat down and opened a manila file. Mac squeezed Harm's hand.  
  
"There is a 99.7% chance that you are Lily Rose's father." announce the doctor. They all stood.  
  
"Thank you" said Harm. Lily Rose and Harm embraced. Mac hugged Harm. "Congratulations. Do you think it'll a little late to get one of those signs with a stork and pink bundle declaring, 'It's a Girl!'?" Mac asked with a grin. They all laughed. Mac hid behind her smiling façade.  
  
It was so weird that her best friend and lover had a daughter not much older, two years to be exact, than her little sister. She had only learned of Adrian a little over two years ago herself. Hell, Adrian was only two years older than she and Eddie's baby would have been had it lived. She wondered what she and Harm's baby would have been like. The baby would have been due on February 21st which wasn't too far away. She wondered why she had been so adamant when she insisted Lily Rose wasn't Harm's daughter. She reasoned that she had acted that way because she was still in pain and felt pangs of jealously because another woman had borne Harm the child he so desperately wanted. Shut up and be happy for him, she told herself.  
  
********  
  
Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station  
Washington, D.C.  
19:34 Romeo, December 27  
  
Harm had cooked a large meal and he and Mac invited Lily Rose over. They had celebrated Christmas and Christmas Eve together just days earlier here. Trisha, Harm's mother; Frank, Harm's stepfather and Sarah, Harm's grandmother had come and had finally met their granddaughter. Mac had finally met the other Sarah. The six of them went to the Vietnam Memorial War on Christmas Eve, the anniversary of when he went MIA. They told her all about her paternal grandfather and Harm's relentless search for him; and about Harm and Mac's trip to Russia where they finally learned the truth. Harmon Rabb, Sr. was dead.  
  
"Do I have any half siblings?" Lily Rose asked innocently. Mac froze and her expression became grim.  
  
Harm answered, drawing attention away from Mac. "Not yet." He forced a smile. "Do I have any grandchildren?"  
  
"No way. Not for a long time. Call them potential grandchildren."  
  
Harm wanted to get off the subject of children as quickly as possible. "How are you enjoying the law program at Georgetown?"  
  
********  
  
The past seven months or so had been so hard on both of them. They had been trying for another baby since August. Month after month, it was still just the two of them.  
  
Now there were three, but the apartment lacked the pitter patter of tiny feet. The footsteps of three adults echoed. Lily Rose would be moving into her own apartment soon, and then it would just be the two of them again.  
  
********  
  
**(I originally intended for this to be one long story, with two stories in one. I decided to make the "2nd story" into Part 5. Part 5 is called Entwined. PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW:o) THANKS:o)~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Into the Night: Entwined

By M.A.G.~ E-mail: Gypsyroo@aol.com  
This is the highly requested continuation of Family and Part 5 in the Into the Night series.  
Disclaimer: See Part 1: Into the Night. U2 are obviously not mine, nor is their song which I made a brief reference to  
*Note-Lily Rose, Adrian, Petty Officer Ross Parker, Rachel Parker and John Parker, as well as the new character "introduced" near the end are solely my creation and belong to me and my twisted imagination  
  


EntwineD  
(To Janet84 and all others who threatened bodily harm if I didn't come out with the next part soon:)  
  


  
Harm and Mac's Residence  
North of Union Station  
Washington, D.C.  
17:32 Romeo, January 1  
  
Two-thousand had gone as fast as it come, making way for the new year. The real Millennium Two-thousand and one promised to transcend it's predecessor. December had confirmed that Harm had a daughter. Otherwise, it was highly unyielding. There was still no baby securely nestled in Mac's womb. Every time Mac saw a baby, she felt a pang of jealousy, even towards her god son and god daughter. How did that U2 song go? "Everything changes on New Year's Day."Mac could only hope.  
  
Mac and Trisha cleared the dishes away. Lily Rose and her great-grandmother chatted in the living room. Frank had accompanied Harm to walk Jingo. Everything seemed so normal, the picture of the perfect family. They hadn't come thing way, they had been thrown into, and woven in each other's lives. There was Harm's mother, grandmother of Harm's newly discovered daughter, wife of Frank, Harm's stepfather who was now step-grandfather to Lily. There was Sarah, Harm's father's mother and Harm's grandmother, and Lily Rose's great grandmother. If she and Harm married, she'd acquire a mother in law, step father in law, great grandmother in law and step daughter. Harm would acquire a mother in law and sister in law. They were like ivy climbing and winding around fence links, their beginnings and ends indistinguishable. Entwined. Family. It made her head spin thinking about it. All she knew was that she loved it, it was the closest thing to a normal family she'd ever had. Everyone loved and cared about one another.  
  
There was a knock at the door. Mac grabbed a dishtowel and dried her hands. She saw Adrian through the peephole. She opened the door.  
  
"Happy New Year, sis." she said. "Who are they?"  
  
"Harm's mother, his grandmother, and daughter." Mac stared at her, wide mouthed.  
  
"Harm has a kid?!" she said incredulously.  
  
"You're having a kid?!" Mac said mocking her.  
  
Adrian patted her very pregnant belly. "As my stomach already establishes. Although, sometimes I feel like I have some alien growing inside of me." Mac let her inside and they went into the kitchen.  
  
"What's Mom have to say about this?" Mac asked.  
  
"She's not what you would called thrilled. She threw me out."  
  
"Why does that not surprise me?" She wiped a plate. "I'm sure Harm won't mind if you stay here for a little while. Harm's grand mother is staying with Trisha and Frank at their hotel; and Lily Rose already moved into her apartment so the couch is free. What are you going to do, Adrian?" Adrian was just a kid herself. It seemed it was the MacKenzie curse to get knocked up at seventeen.  
  
"I'm not sure, yet."  
  
"Why didn't you come to me sooner?"  
  
"Because, it was bad timing. I couldn't...." I couldn't tell you that I was having a baby when you just lost yours, Adrian thought. Mac bit her lip and nodded.  
  
"Now lets go introduce you." Mac said, taking Adrian's hand into her own and dragged her to the living room.  
  
********  
  
"This is my sister Adrian." said Mac awkwardly to the trio on the couch. "This is Harm's mother Trisha, his grandmother Sarah and Harm's daughter Lily Rose." They shook hands with the girl. What would they think? Mac smiled through clenched teeth and let out a big sigh.  
  
********  
  
17:40 Romeo  
  
Mac hesitantly went back to the dishes. Trisha joined her once more. "She's scared." said Trisha, coming up behind Mac. Mac almost jumped.  
  
"She's a tough girl. How's it going over there?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Your sister seems comfortable with them." she said. They heard chatter and laughing. "And how are you?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Doesn't it bother you? I know it has to."  
  
"There's nothing I can do about it. I can't kick her out on the street. As long as she's around, she'll be a reminder of my inadequacies as a woman. Sometimes I really don't think I deserve Harm. He deserves better, someone who can give him a child." Harm had been tested and his sperm count was high. The problem seemed to be with her.  
  
"You shouldn't measure your self based on whether you have a child or not, Mac." She put her hand on Mac's shoulder. "You're a wonderful smart, funny woman, a tough Marine, and talented lawyer. You do more in a day than most women ever do in a lifetime. Harm did something right. You're the only one I've ever approved of, the only one I could ever see my son with. He loves you. You make him happier than I've ever seen him. Whether you have a child or not, his feelings won't change for you." The older woman wrapped her arms around Mac, who was now in tears. "Shhh....It's alright." She stroked Mac's forehead. So this was what it was like to have a mother. Mac let go. "Thank you, Trisha." she said.  
  
Mac wiped her eyes and disappeared into the bedroom. She flushed her face with cold water, pausing to stare at her reflection in the mirror. She was forced to reapply her makeup. She didn't want anyone know that something was wrong. Mac heard male voices, Harm and Frank were back. She heard Adrian oohing and awwing over Jingo. Harm asked where she was. It was time she made an appearance. Her family was waiting.  
  
Mac came out the bedroom and joined the crowd in the living room. Harm firmly planted a kiss on her lips. "Can I see you in the kitchen for a minute, stick boy?" she said, as she unhooked Jingo's leash. "Jingo, time to eat." The dog followed.  
  
"I didn't know Adrian was...coming."He said, not saying the more obvious, I didn't know Adrian was pregnant.  
  
"I didn't either. Mom kicked her out."  
  
"She can stay here, if it won't bother you."  
  
"Bother me, why would it bother me, Harm? She's my sister." she said forcing a smile, as she scraped the dog food out of the can onto a ceramic dish which bore 'Jingo' in green paint. "Here boy."  
  
"Mac, I know she's your sister but..."  
  
"It won't bother me."she said. He came up behind her, wrapping his hands around her waist. He planted a kiss on her neck.  
  
She turned to face him, capturing his mouth with hers. Their mouths broke away."If it's fine with you, it's fine with me, sweetheart."  
  
********  
  
An hour later, Frank, Trisha, Sarah and Lily Rose were ready to leave. Everyone embraced and said their good byes. Then it became quiet, too quiet. Adrian was exhausted from her trip, and took a nap on the couch. Mac and Harm told her that they were going to go for a short walk so they wouldn't disturb her.  
  
It was cold outside, but not a bitter cold that froze your flesh and went deep into your bones. They walked closely together, Harm's arm around her. The air felt refreshing. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "Thank you." she said.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For suggesting a walk. It was just what I needed." she said. He kissed her forehead. "I love you, Harm."  
  
"I love you, too."he replied.   
  
"We should go back." she said.  
  
"Getting cold?" She nodded. He took off his scarf and wrapped it around her neck and held her closer. They weren't too far from the apartment. They turned around.  
  
********  
  
19:34 Romeo, January 3  
  
Harm and Bud had gone out shopping for Harriet's surprise birthday party after work. Mac had told them that it was ok if they went ahead and got dinner. She and Adrian would make something or order in. They hadn't mentioned the baby since the conversation they had when Adrian first arrived.  
  
"Do you mind if I ask who the father is?" said Mac. She pushed her grilled chicken caesar salad away. This was one meal Harm could not admonish her for eating.  
  
"My boyfriend, Petty Officer Ross Parker."  
  
"Petty Officer?!" Mac said incredulously. "How old is he? If anyone found out, he could be court martialed and charged with statutory rape."  
  
"He's twenty-one."  
  
Mac signed. "When did you meet him?"  
  
"About a year ago when I came to visit you. Things just happened."  
  
"And you apparently saw him six months ago. Why didn't you tell me you were here?"  
  
"I wasn't. He came to see me in California as soon as they reached port. He loves me, I love him."  
  
"Does he know you're pregnant?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And?"  
  
"He said he's support me in whatever decision I made."  
  
"And what decision is that?"  
  
"Well, I thought about abortion. But I could never knowingly, willingly kill my kid."  
  
"I couldn't either."Mac said, almost inaudibly, but Adrian's hearing was sharp.  
  
"You weren't sure if you wanted to have Harm's baby, Mac?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then what are you talking about?"  
  
"When I was your age, I was pregnant. I got into a car accident, the baby and the baby's father didn't make it." A memory of that night flashed before her eyes, followed by another. Not long after, she had gotten involved with Chris, and well it had been a disaster to say the least. She remembered pulling the trigger...She blinked and came out of her reverie.  
  
"Oh my God!" she said. "I had no idea! I'm sorry."  
  
"I don't want to talk about me anymore." Mac said.  
  
"Okay. Last night, I made a decision, Mac. I want you and Harm to have my baby."she said confidently. Mac looked at her sister in disbelief.  
  
"Do you even know what your saying?"  
  
"Yes. I want you and Harm to adopt my baby. I can't take care of a baby. I haven't even finished highschool yet. I don't have a job. Ross is at sea. The kid deserves better. She desperately needs two parents who will love her and take care of her. You and Harm are desperate for a baby. I rather have her with you than with strangers. You'll be Mommy and Daddy to her of course. I'll just be kooky, adoring Aunty Adrian. What do you say?"  
  
Mac just continued to sit there, frozen in shock.. She didn't know what to say. "How.... how much thought have you given this?"  
  
"I've thought about it the past few months. Now it makes more and more sense. Just please think about it."  
  
"Alright. I'll have to talk to Harm."  
  
********  
22:46 Romeo  
  
Adrian was tired and went to bed not long after they had eaten. Mac had changed into red silk pajamas and curled up in bed in front of the TV. It was one of the few things she had brought with her when she moved out of her apartment. She had let a friend rent it, and sold her most of her furniture.  
  
They talked of getting a place of their own soon, a place with actual walls surrounding rooms. Harm also talked about modifying the apartment they were living in now. He had restored practically everything since he moved in over five years ago. It wouldn't be too difficult to erect walls to create a new room, a room for the baby they planned.  
  
She heard Harm come in, though he came in quietly, she was attuned to notice the slightest noise. She saw his silhouette in the door way, well technically what would be a doorway had the place had walls. He grinned at her. "Hey sweetheart."  
  
"How did shopping for the party go?"   
  
"We got everything we could possibly think of. I took some of the stuff to keep here until Bud needed it. Harriet insisted I stay for a late dinner and come get you and Adrian. But I told her that you two already had plans." He slipped on a pair of blue silk boxers.  
  
He slipped into bed next to her. "You know, now that you did that, those aren't going to be on for very long." she said in a seductive whisper. She straddled his lap and planted kisses up and down his neck and jaw line before he took her mouth into his possession.   
  
"You think you can be quiet?" he asked with a smile. "You're not exactly a mouse."  
  
"It's all your fault." She pushed him down on the bed so he was no longer in a half sitting position.  
  
********  
  
After their love making, Mac rested her head on Harm's chest and he held her. "Harm?" she said.  
  
"Mhmmm?"  
  
"Adrian wants us to adopt her baby."  
  
He lifted his head to meet her eyes. He smiled but then became serious. "I want us to raise a child together more than anything. She's positive that's what she wants?"  
  
"Yes, Harm. She told me she couldn't possibly raise a baby now. She hasn't even graduated yet."  
  
  
"She may want to give up her baby and play a minimal part in its life now, but that could change. You've only known her for two years. How well do you really know her? She may not be able to give up the baby. Then what? I can't stand to see in so much pain again."  
  
Those are all great points Harm, but she really wants us to adopt the baby. I have a good feeling about this. And if she changes her mind, I can live with that."  
  
********  
20:17 Romeo, February 26  
  
Things were going extremely well. Adrian was set on giving to baby to Harm and Mac and referred to her as 'their baby.' Adrian had wanted Harm and Mac to come for the sonograms and checkups. Adrian and Mac had gone and picked out baby clothes. Trisha gave Harm and Mac an antique cherry wood crib, rocking chair and changing table. The office had thrown a baby shower where they acquired a stroller, car seat and clothes. The Admiral had gotten a beautiful cradle for them. It would be perfect to put in the bedroom to keep the baby close.  
  
"Harm!" said Mac laughing. "Stop tickling me." He complied and pulled her on top of him. She moved off him and cuddled his side. She laced her small fingers through his larger ones. Harm ran his fingers through her hair.  
  
"What about Patricia, Harm?" she said.  
  
"My mother hates her name. She'd hate to have her grandchild named the same thing. What about Sarah?"  
  
"Aren't two Sarahs in your life enough to contend with?" she said with a smile.  
  
"Three if you count Bud and Harriet's daughter. How about Sera, S-E-R-A?"  
  
"That's pretty."  
  
"Sera.....what? Elizabeth?"  
  
"Sera Elizabeth MacKenzie Rabb?"  
  
"I like that." he said with a grin.  
  
"What about.....Sera Harmony Rabb? Harmony Sera Rabb?"  
  
"I like the latter."Harm flipped around in the name book. "What about Kathryn?"  
  
"As a first name?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What about Jessica?" Mac suggested.  
  
"Jessica....Kathryn Rabb or Kathryn MacKenzie Rabb?"  
  
"Or there's Jessica MacKenzie Kathryn Rabb and Jessica Kathryn MacKenzie Rabb."  
  
"Or....." he traced imaginary circles on her neck, "Kathryn MacKenzie Jessica Rabb or Kathryn Jessica MacKenzie Rabb. There are so many variations." She scribbled out the latest names they'd come up with. He moved the pad away from her and took the pen from her hand. "I think we need a break." he whispered against her neck. Before she could protest, he trailed kisses down her throat.  
  
********  
03:37 Romeo, April 5  
  
Adrian awoke with a sharp pain shooting through her abdomen. Her thighs and blanket beneath her were wet. Her water had broken. Don't panic, you were expecting this sooner or later, she told herself. She was already two weeks overdue. The doctor had said it would be any day now. She slowly got up. She managed to reach Harm and Mac's bedroom. "Mac, Harm!" she called. They both stirred awake. "It's time." she said. They quickly got out of bed. Mac helped Adrian into the livingroom.   
  
"How long ago was your first contraction?"  
  
"No more than two minutes. My water broke when I was asleep. I'm sorry about the couch."  
  
"Don't worry, sweetie."  
  
"I'm so scared, Mac."  
  
Mac wrapped her hands around her sister. "You'll be fine. You're strong. You've made it this far."  
  
********  
Arlington Hospital  
Maternity Ward- Room 227  
09:45 Romeo  
  
When the time between Adrian's contractions substantially decreased, it was time to bring her to the hospital. Mac and Harm had gotten the day off from the Admiral and Commanders Imes and Mattoni were taking over their caseloads. Adrian was given an epidural and shortly after, she was brought into the labor room with Mac and Harm at her side.  
  
********  
Labor Room 3  
10:52 Romeo  
  
"I can't do this anymore!" screamed Adrian, squeezing the life out of Mac's hand.  
  
"Yes you can, little sister."  
  
"You've got the head out. Two more good pushes should do it." said the Doctor.  
  
She screamed and pushed and then the baby was out. The nurse cleaned out her mouth and the baby began to wail. The Doctor cut the umbilical cord and clamped it, then he handed the baby to a nurse who wiped her clean. She tried to hand the pink bundle to Adrian but she held up her hands. "Let them hold her first, she's their's."  
  
An elated Mac held the tiny baby before having to surrender her to a nurse again for fingerprinting, measuring and weighing.  
  
Adoption papers were signed and the birth certificate was filled in with the exception of a name. The Admiral, his girlfriend Dr. Sydney Walden, and Lily Rose along with Bud, Harriet and their two children had come to see the baby.  
  
*********  
  
Outside the Maternity Ward Nursery  
09:55 Romeo, April 6  
  
Adrian and six pound, four ounce baby girl were ready to be discharged the next morning. Adrian stared through the glass at the tiny baby in her clear bassinet. She was so beautiful. Adrian knew she would bring great joy to Mac and Harm's life.   
  
A man and women who appeared to be in their late forties to early fifties approached. She recognized them immediately. She opened her mouth but said nothing. They stood next to Adrian and stared at the baby.   
  
"We came to see our grandchild." said the woman. It was Rachel Parker, Ross' mother and John Parker, Ross' father. "She's beautiful. She looks just like our daughter when she was a baby. What's her name?"  
  
"Ask her parents." replied Adrian.  
  
"We hoped you would change your mind."  
  
"I haven't. She's my sister and her fiancé's baby." she said, shoving past them. Mac and Harm would be there soon. Hopefully they had decided on a name.  
  
********  
11:10 Romeo  
  
Mac and Harm arrived a few minutes late. Both had been running around the apartment like chickens without heads making sure everything was perfect and that they didn't forget anything.   
  
Discharge papers were signed, the birth certificate was filled out and Adrian and the baby were wheeled out. Adrian insisted that she could walk and Mac or Harm could carry the baby but it was the hospital's SOP to wheel patients out with their babies.  
  
********  
  
Adrian told Mac and Harm to drop her off at the bus station. "Don't you want to stay for a little while?"  
  
"I can't. I already have a ticket. Mom's waiting for me."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yup. I have to get back to school. I have three months to make up before I can graduate. Congratulations." She hugged Mac and Harm and then headed for the bus terminal.  
  
Harm and Mac got back in the SUV and headed home with their beloved new daughter Kathryn Jessica MacKenzie Rabb.  
  
********  
  


**(Continuation tentatively entitled Torn-Part 6 will be posted soon. Feedback please! I love hearing what people think. It also give me encouragement and an extra nudge to get the next story finished faster ;0) )  
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	7. Into the Night: Torn

Written by M.A.G~ E-Mail: Gypsyroo@aol.com  
Disclaimer: See part 1: Into the Night; Adrian, Kathryn, Ross and his parents belong to me  
*Note: This is part 6 in the Into the Night Series  
********  
  


Torn  


  
  
Harm and Mac's Residence  
North of Union Station  
Washington, D.C.  
7:50 Romeo, May 16  
  
Mac held the wriggling infant in her arms. At six weeks old, she was small but strong. Kathryn Jessica MacKenzie Rabb had light brown hair and deep hazel eyes. Harm had never seen Mac so happy. She was the light of their life.  
  
Mac had taken extended leave to be home with the baby. She learned the baby's different cries and what they meant almost immediately. Harm and Mac never got frustrated when they did everything they possibly could, and Kathryn still cried, nor did they get angry over nights of lost sleep. It was truly a blessing that they had Kathryn at all.  
  
"Say bye bye to Daddy, Kat. He has to go to work now."  
  
Harm took the gurgling and smiling baby into his arms. He planted a kiss on her forehead and handed her back to Mac.   
  
"Someone wants breakfast." Mac cooed. Harm kissed Mac passionately.  
  
"I'll call you at lunch. I love you, both."  
  
"We love you, too."  
  
********  
  
Rock Creek Park  
Washington, D.C.  
13:33 Romeo, May 20  
  
It was a beautiful spring day. It was warm, the flowers were in full bloom and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Mac and Harm held hands and took turns pushing the stroller as they walked through the park.   
  
They settled on a spot that had partial shade and spread a blanket out on the grass. Mac and Harm had packed a picnic lunch. "I can't believe she's here and she's ours." Mac said smiling. Harm held the bundle of endless pink. She was so adorable in her sleeper and tiny hat as he fed her a bottle of formula. In less than two weeks, Kathryn would officially be theirs.  
  
********  
  
Harm and Mac's Residence  
North of Union Station  
Washington, D.C.  
18:36 Romeo, May 20  
  
"Anything else we need?" Harm asked, about to go to the store to get the fixings for dinner.  
  
"Diapers, formula." Mac replied. He had asked her if she wanted to go and take a break and he would stay with the baby but she had refused.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to come?"  
  
"Positive. This little one needs a bath."  
  
Harm kissed them both before leaving.  
  
********  
  
Not more than two minutes later, there was a knock. Harm must have gotten to the car and realized he forgot his keys, Mac thought. He had done so numerous times the past few weeks.  
  
She unlocked the door, balancing the baby in her arms. "Harm, I can't believe you forgot your keys again." she said, undoing the chain.  
  
Opening the door, Mac was shocked to see who was standing there. It was Adrian. "Uh Hi Sweetie. Come on in." They sat down in the living room.  
  
"I have a problem."  
  
"Did Mom kick you out again?"  
  
"No, nothing like that. I just needed to see her."  
  
"Of course." Mac said awkwardly. Mac handed the baby to her sister. She had dressed her in a yellow sleeper with little white lambs on it after she had spit up on the yellow one. Mac forced a smile as she felt dread building up inside of her.  
  
"I just wanted to see her before...I wanted you to hear it from me first."  
  
Mac's false smile quickly subsided as the words sank into her head. She didn't want to hear this. The feeling over her dark and foreboding, she knew what was coming next.  
  
"I want her back, Mac." Adrian said painfully, she seemed as if she were about the cry. "I really thought I would be alright giving her up. I never expected to feel this empty. A part of me is missing. I never wanted to hurt you or Harm. I wanted to tell you before some lawyer did."  
  
Mac wanted to scream and she wanted to cry. Instead, she just sat there in shock. She had to remind herself to breathe. "Where are you going to live? How are you going to support yourselves?" Mac said, her voice shaking.  
  
"Mom offered to help. Plus, I have a job. I graduate in less than two months. Ross wants to marry me when he comes into port and I said yes. His parents want the baby and I to live with them. I can go to college at night. I have it all planned."  
  
"It sounds great, but can you really do it all? You're so young. Do you even know what you're saying?" Mac said. Only it wasn't her voice, it was someone else's. This was not happening to her, it was happening to someone else. Finally, Mac let go as reality sank in. Tears rolled down her face. She was losing Kathryn . She stood up. "I'll...I'll go...pack her things."  
  
"I won't get her until tomorrow afternoon. I want you and Harm to say goodbye. But I hope its not goodbye forever. I want you to be a part of her someday, if you want to, when you're ready." Adrian kissed the baby's head and handed her back to Mac. Mac stood in the middle of the living room like a zombie. She didn't even notice that Adrian had left. She felt so numb. She sank to the floor and she and Kathryn both cried.  
  
********  
  
Harm entered the apartment to find Mac sobbing on the floor holding the wailing baby. He set down the groceries where he stood and rushed over to them. He took the baby from her arms and set her down in the cradle and she calmed down. "Mac, what happened sweetie?" he asked gently, kneeling down.  
  
"She's not ours." Mac said. He could barely make out her words.  
  
"In less than two weeks she will be, Mac." he put his hand on her shoulder and brought her to him.  
  
"No."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Adrian wants her back." she said, in barely a whisper. Harm wrapped his hands tighter around her trembling body.   
  
I knew this would happen, he thought. He loved Kathryn as much as Mac did. They took turns with feedings, baths, and diaper changes. When he was a child he learned to not get too attached to things because what he loved was always taken away. His father was taken away. He'd finally been able to let go and allow himself to love Mac. Part of him didn't want to get too attached to Kathryn because of that same fear of loss. But he couldn't help it. The baby had warmed his heart immediately.  
  
"Maybe she'll change her mind." Harm said, hoping there was truth in his words.  
  
********  
  
Harm and Mac's Residence  
North of Union Station  
Washington, D.C.  
17:09 Romeo, May 21  
  
They all had a miserable night. Neither Harm nor Mac slept. The only one who could sleep was Kathryn, who felt safe and secure who didn't know everything around her was in an upheaval because of her. Mac and Harm tried to make the best of their last hours with Kathryn.  
  
Harm had informed the Admiral of the situation. He was very understanding and he had ordered that Harm take the day off. He suggested that they take it to court. Harm told Admiral Chegwidden that he and Mac had discussed it and didn't want to go that route. The Admiral then wished two of his best people luck.  
  
Harm was very worried about Mac. He was torn up over this, but Mac was more fragile. She had lost so much, gone through so much. He wasn't sure she would be able to handle another loss. He wasn't even sure if he could. She'd gone off the deep end and back into the arms of alcohol after the miscarriage months earlier. He played the role of the strong one, and grieved when no one was looking. But Mac internalized everything, letting it corrode her, and nearly destroyed herself. Would she shut down again? She had been less than three months pregnant when it had happened. What would losing a baby she got to know and love do to her?  
  
And then the moment of truth came as they heard a knock at the door. Adrian appeared in front of them. Harm took the baby from Mac and handed her to Adrian. Harm said something to Adrian but Mac didn't hear him. Then came the burst of screaming and crying. Everything was a blur. Harm tried to console her but she pushed him away. Everything happened so fast, Mac felt like she was spinning. She was falling off a cliff and she didn't know which way was up and she pushed away her only lifeline.  
  
********  
  
(This is probably the shortest part of the series, but it suits its purpose. I decided to make part 6 into two parts, thus creating a part 7. Part 7 is tentatively entitled Breakdown and is coming soon. Don't worry, Mac and Harm will be happy again, soon. I promise.**PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK! THANKYOU** :o)~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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